The Comedic Relief of Exhaustion

Exhaustion: /iɡˈzôsCH(ə)n/ noun 1. a state of extreme physical or mental fatigue

When you’re a mom, however, exhaustion is a mischievous little prankster on a mission to make you look like a fool and feel like an idiot. When you’re a mom, exhaustion is:

  • making a fresh pot of coffee and forgetting to add coffee grounds
  • pouring coffee creamer on your cereal
  • going to the grocery store with your slippers on
  • going to the grocery store and forgetting to bring any of your purchased groceries in from the car
  • putting the milk away in the cupboard
  • waiting for dinner to finish baking in an oven that was never turned on
  • washing 4 loads of laundry using fabric softener as the laundry detergent
  • getting in the car to run an errand, driving for 3 blocks and then realizing you have no idea where you needed to go
  • returning a book to the library that didn’t belong to the library to begin with

Today, I brushed my teeth with my electric toothbrush…without ever turning it on. How does a person stand in front of a mirror for four minutes and completely miss the fact that their attempt to brush their teeth is failing miserably?! When your day starts out like that, you better make sure you have some wine on hand…

Cheers to us, Moms!

Momming Can Bite You In The Butt

All of my children are completely different. They each have their own unique personality, interests, quirks, preferences…you name it…they are not the same! I love that about them! I encourage them to be themselves, be proud of who they are, stand up for what they believe. I want them to be able to think for themselves and stand up for what’s right and be strong against peer pressure. Most of all, I don’t want them to ever think they need to blend into the background or that they don’t have a voice…

Sometimes that backfires on me…

My youngest, for example, is very much my little mini-me. She’s strong-minded with a quick wit and a sarcastic sense of humor. These characteristics are hard for a child to learn to balance on the side of funny and not cross the line to rude. Actually, it’s difficult for most adults to master that trade! Today, she was teetering more on the side of “talking back” and less on the side of “comedic anecdotes”.

So…time for some momsense!

Nope, not that simple…

Trying to explain to a very smart 9-year-old the difference between “having an opinion” and “talking back” is not an easy task! Her points are completely valid! There really isn’t a difference between putting laundry away now or later. I just want it done now. Why? Because I do! So…what now…tell her to just stop thinking logically and listen to the completely irrational woman telling her to do things for no particular reason at all and disregard everything that woman has ever taught her about having a strong mind?

Hmmmm. This was obviously not going to go in my favor.

So, I told her she’s right and I’m proud of her for thinking so logically!

Wait for it……….

THEN, we had a talk about learning to control what comes out of her mouth and what stays in her head…especially if it’s not a logical thought, but more of an exasperated “mom, you’re driving me nuts” thought. (Yes, no matter how great we think we are doing at this mom thing…our kids are thinking “you drive me nuts”. But, we aren’t doing our job, if they weren’t!)

So, when your own words of advice come back to bite ya in the butt, just run with it… and pretend that you knew what you were doing all along!

SuperMoms!

Before we become parents, we receive endless words of wisdom and thoughtful advice, some of us read books to help prepare for our little bundle of joy, some of us trust that our natural instincts will kick in and some of us even go to parenting classes. Whatever our choice, we all seem to somehow figure this parenting thing out… step by step… trial and error… we find our way.

What I didn’t expect was the amazing, incredible, unexplainable transition from mom… to SUPERMOM! Where do these superpowers come from and why didn’t anyone tell me we had this capability?! Somehow, we manage to hear every conversation that happens in the entire house (Super Hearing Power?), we know where absolutely everything and everyone in the house is at all times (Super Telescopic Vision Power?), we can sense when something isn’t right and can even predict the future and know exactly how someone is going to react or a situation is going to play out (Super Precognition Power?), we have built-in lie detectors (Super Telepathy Power?)… we actually have the ability to know anything and everything (Super Omniscience Power?)…Who Knew?! It drives my kids crazy. They can’t get away with anything and can’t figure out how I could possibly know the things I know. The answer is simple my beautiful children…I have Superpowers!

The power that impresses me the most is our Super Human Mentality Power. The ability to multitask with multiple people dealing with multiple emotions in multiple stages of life…and still remain sane. We can be stern with one child one minute, then turn and be sympathetic to another child the next minute, then turn and be silly and fun to another child the next minute and, at the same time, make supper, do the laundry, deal with the crazy dog, plan for the next day…all while carrying intelligent conversations, handling all situations perfectly and not losing our minds! Crazy, right?! How do we do that?! Again…it’s simple…Superpowers!

We are forces to be reckoned with, Mommas! So, “Cheers” to us!! There is simply no one more super than a mom!

Super Hero Mom!

Back To School Once More

The first day back to school is a BIG day…for both the kids and the parents!

The kids spend hours finding the perfect backpack, buying that fresh box of pencils/crayons/etc., picking out that special pair of sneakers, selecting what outfit will make the perfect statement…

The parents…well…let’s start with the school supply list. It’s like bait leading us into a maze where we all act like mice scurrying around trying to find our way to the prize at the end. The prize?…making it through the entire shopping trip with our children, finding all of the listed items and not losing our minds!

Then, depending on the age of our children, we need to get to registration day or back to school night, buy parking passes, get sports physicals, buy any needed sports gear, go to any parent meeting for said sport, put money in the lunch accounts, update all school forms online, find out the bus schedules, make sure to have snacks in stock, have lunch boxes ready to go…I’m sure I’m forgetting something…

It’s enough to make any momma’s mind spin! If you have more than one child to organize for the school year, your mind is now a tornado. If you have more than one child and they are all in different schools, like me (elementary, middle and high school), you have now been driven to the point of wondering when it would be acceptable to open the wine bottle.

But, we all do it and we all manage to get it done, because we are AMAZING! We may not get it done perfectly. We may forget a notebook or a permission slip and have to make a run to school, but, eventually, we get it done!

And, now, I can’t wait until they get home, so I can hear all about their wonderful first day and try to figure out…how did they grow up so fast?! In the mean time, I’m going to take just a moment for me…cuz we all deserve it!