To Fall, Or Not To Fall

As parents, we are so proud of our children. They are smart and beautiful and talented and funny… not to mention the best at everything. We are their parents. Of course, we are going to be proud. We should be proud. When we are proud, they see our excitement and are encouraged by our positive feedback. Children should feel as if they can conquer the world. Their dreams should reach the stars. Yes, some of their dreams are going to be a little, well, unattainable; such as, becoming a fairy or a ninja or a Superhero. But, is there really any harm in that? Their innocence will be replaced by real life experiences far too early, anyway. Why not let their dreams be magic? Who knows, that fantasy may lead them down a road that isn’t so silly; like a teacher or a fitness trainer or a doctor… That really is magic, isn’t it?

As we cheer our children on, what happens when they hit a little bump in the road? What happens when they don’t win or get chosen or make the grade? I understand wanting to protect our children from feeling pain. Seeing the disappointment in their eyes is heart wrenching. However, life is full of disappointments and I would rather my children learn how to handle the overwhelming emotions life throws at them from me… not from strangers. I want to be the one to help them understand those situations that seem so unfair. I want to be the one to teach them how to get back up and try again instead of allowing anger or sadness to take control.  What I don’t want is my children growing up, entering the world, suddenly being hit with “life” and having no idea how to handle themselves.

So, yes, I do believe we should let our children fall… but help them get back up. Help them understand what they are feeling and how to work through it. A few bumps in the road, here and there, builds character, strength and drive. It provides them with the knowledge needed to actually achieve that dream… and maybe even dream a little bigger.

“Cheers” to us, Moms!

 

Most Active Blog Award!

Active Award

Wow! Thank you so much to my fellow blogger, Plz Do Life, for nominating me for this award! What an honor and wonderful opportunity! If you haven’t checked out Plz Do Life, you are missing out! Her blog is incredible. She writes about her life journey… her daily struggles, triumphs and thoughts. Her words are real and heartfelt. She has a point of view that is unique, but with a twist of humor. It’s definitely worth your time.

I now have the privilege of nominating five bloggers who I feel deserve this award.  There are so many wonderful blogs, I had a hard time deciding… but, my nominees are:

  1. Secret Life of a Stay at Home Mom: This momma is so real and funny! She will give it to you straight! Being a SAHM isn’t easy and it isn’t always pretty or fun… but she will make it very entertaining to read about! I just love her posts.
  2. Comically Quirky:  A wonderful quit wit, this mom’s blog is full of unique topics and  laughs.
  3. New life-Fresh you : This blog is full of great ideas and tips about beauty… from homemade products, to skin treatments, to storage solutions! Her blog is wonderful!
  4. Doodle 2 Learn:  This blog is a one of a kind! She talks about using art/doodles to help her teach and connect with her students. Every post is incredibly interesting to read.
  5. Celebrate Picture Books: Every day, this blog reviews another amazing picture book. If you are a book lover and enjoy reading to your children, this is a great opportunity to discover new stories.

Nominees, here are the rules:

  • Create a new post saying that you’ve been nominated by me, including a link to my blog.
  • Nominate other bloggers and let the cycle continue.

When Mommas Cry

This last month, my life has been an extreme challenge. One of those months when everything seems to be falling apart… including myself. Around every corner, there seems to be another crumbling wall that I’m desperately trying to hold together. I’m one who would rather handle everything on my own than let the world know what my family is going through. So, I keep most of it to myself, picking up every little piece of the wall and carrying on…

But, what happens when it’s momma’s turn to cry?

No matter how strong we are, sometimes mommas need to cry, too. We are not made of stone. So, why do we try so hard to hold in our emotions during the most difficult of times? And, when we do allow ourselves to cry, why do we cry behind closed doors and not in front of our children?

I completely understand sheltering our children from the adult worries in life such as losing a job or struggles with a significant other. However, wouldn’t it be okay for our children to at least see us have emotions?… to know it’s okay to be sad or scared? When they ask what’s wrong, we could simply answer “Mommy’s just having a really bad day, but a big hug from you would make me feel a lot better.” or “I made a mistake today and I feel bad. I could really use a hug.” We shouldn’t be teaching our children that these feelings are wrong and that we should never feel weak, because being strong all of the time is exactly what will make us the weakest!

We have emotions for a reason. They help us get through every type of situation life hands us. The more we acknowledge them, the stronger we get and the more enjoyable life is. So, if you need to cry, mommas, just cry! Really, it’s okay!

Three Kids, A Mom And A Circus Act

We’ve all been there…those days, weeks (sometimes months) when you feel like you’re surrounded by a three-ring circus and you are the only performer… besides the little clowns running around tossing buckets of water on themselves and bonking each other on the head with foam bats. You are the balancing act, the juggling act and, most important, the ringmaster. The times when, it seems, everyone’s schedule is twice as busy, you have three times as many errands to run, the dog needs to go to the groomers, one child has a dentist appointment, another child has an eye exam…then, suddenly, one child needs another piece of sporting equipment and the other reminds you he needs his senior pictures taken and… I think you know what I’m talking about, right?

As moms, we work hard to juggle everyone’s schedule, including our own, in order to get everything accomplished and keep everyone happy. We struggle to balance all of the craziness with just a few moments of peace, so we can reconnect with our children and make sure their world is calm and happy. However, if we were actually achieving this balancing act, wouldn’t the amount of peace be a bit more equal to the amount of craziness?

I think, as moms, we tend to be overachievers and, when you’re in the middle of a circus act, it’s easy to forget that our children need time with us just as much as they need opportunities to explore the world and discover who they are. Maybe it’s not that big of a deal if the laundry doesn’t get sorted for a few days and just piles up in a huge mess of clean clothes or the dishwasher doesn’t get emptied or the dog has to wait a couple more weeks to go to the groomers. Let’s take the pressure off of ourselves, lower our own expectations of ourselves… and make some memories with our children. They won’t be little forever and they will want to look back at their lives and have memories of time spent with us just as much as we will want to look back and have memories of them.

So, let’s leave the dishes in the sink and go outside for a spontaneous run in the sprinkler or a board game or a game of catch or whatever you like to do… and enjoy our children!

“Cheers” to us, Moms!

Momming Can Bite You In The Butt

All of my children are completely different. They each have their own unique personality, interests, quirks, preferences…you name it…they are not the same! I love that about them! I encourage them to be themselves, be proud of who they are, stand up for what they believe. I want them to be able to think for themselves and stand up for what’s right and be strong against peer pressure. Most of all, I don’t want them to ever think they need to blend into the background or that they don’t have a voice…

Sometimes that backfires on me…

My youngest, for example, is very much my little mini-me. She’s strong-minded with a quick wit and a sarcastic sense of humor. These characteristics are hard for a child to learn to balance on the side of funny and not cross the line to rude. Actually, it’s difficult for most adults to master that trade! Today, she was teetering more on the side of “talking back” and less on the side of “comedic anecdotes”.

So…time for some momsense!

Nope, not that simple…

Trying to explain to a very smart 9-year-old the difference between “having an opinion” and “talking back” is not an easy task! Her points are completely valid! There really isn’t a difference between putting laundry away now or later. I just want it done now. Why? Because I do! So…what now…tell her to just stop thinking logically and listen to the completely irrational woman telling her to do things for no particular reason at all and disregard everything that woman has ever taught her about having a strong mind?

Hmmmm. This was obviously not going to go in my favor.

So, I told her she’s right and I’m proud of her for thinking so logically!

Wait for it……….

THEN, we had a talk about learning to control what comes out of her mouth and what stays in her head…especially if it’s not a logical thought, but more of an exasperated “mom, you’re driving me nuts” thought. (Yes, no matter how great we think we are doing at this mom thing…our kids are thinking “you drive me nuts”. But, we aren’t doing our job, if they weren’t!)

So, when your own words of advice come back to bite ya in the butt, just run with it… and pretend that you knew what you were doing all along!